


Goose vs Borg

by Tish



Category: Star Trek: Voyager, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Untitled Goose Game Fusion, Crack, Gen, It's A Beautiful Day On The Space Station And You Are A Horrible Goose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 19:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21451141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/pseuds/Tish
Summary: They are the fiercest opponent in the known universe. Nothing can stop them, not even the Borg.
Relationships: Seven of Nine & Goose
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24
Collections: Untitled Goose Exchange 2: 2 Goose 2 Furious





	Goose vs Borg

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kooili](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kooili/gifts).

_Lifeform detected. Seven of Nine will be dispatched to investigate._

HONK!

Seven of Nine approached the small lifeform, the Borg Collective constantly searching its database and streaming data to her.

_Lifeform identified as Earth waterfowl of family Anatidae. Specific form is Goose, subset Total Dick._

The Goose spotted Seven of Nine and immediately set upon her, HONKING! like an out of control clown car. The simile was lost on her, unfortunately. Seven of Nine ducked out of the way as the Goose took off and dive bombed her, plucking wires from a control panel as it flew by.

Seven of Nine regarded the sparking wires, receiving a signal that there was minimal damage and to continue her mission.

The Goose continued to HONK! and pooped on top of a relay station. It slimed down into a conduit where the noxious gases sparked a small fire, sending warning signals throughout the Collective.

Seven of Nine stalked after the Goose, futilely making a grab as it flew overhead the other way. It landed on a <strike>duck</strike> duct and chewed off a control panel. More fires spread out, crashing systems all over the place.

_Earth records indicate that humans would speak to animals in an attempt to control behaviour. Seven of Nine will engage the Goose._

Seven of Nine pointed a finger at the Goose. “Cease the attacks and stand down,” she sternly told the Goose.

HONK! The Goose cried as it ate a vital cable.

Section by section, the Borg were cut off from the Collective, powering down. Seven of Nine tilted her head to try and receive any information, just in time to avoid another swoop by the Goose.

“Stop that! Bad Goose!” Seven of Nine called out, only to receive a mocking HONK! in reply.

Seven of Nine started to run after the Goose, aware of the smoke from the uncontrolled fires. She had her mission and she was to carry it out, knowing that stopping to extinguish the fires left the Goose free to start more.

“You will surrender. Resistance is futile,” Seven of Nine declared as the Goose surprise swooped her from behind.

*** Some time later ***

“Red alert, shield's up!” Captain Janeway declared, giving a nod to Chakotay as everyone prepared for the attack.

“Evasive manoeuvres plotted and laid in,” Paris said, casting a worried look at the massive Borg cube on the viewscreen.

“Incoming message, Captain,” Chakotay said grimly.

Janeway sighed. “Here we go.”

There was a baffling silence, then a sound of something that might have been a warning klaxon as the message started. “HONK! We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is Futile. Resistance is Useless. Resistance is Gooseless!”


End file.
